Gentlemen, is there a woman you’re interested in but you’re not sure how to stand out among the inevitable competition? It’s not as hard as you think to score those extra points and have her choose you over him. It doesn’t take smoke and mirrors to impress us ladies – and it’s simpler than you think to truly stand out from our other potential suitors. Here are 5 easy ways to win her over:

1. Show Your Weaknesses

Most women have a soft spot for a man who has a few weaknesses that he’s not afraid to show. Showing that you are shy, vulnerable, or nervous can actually be very charming. One of the reasons this works on women is because women inherently put walls up if they get a player vibe from a man. If he is too confident or too much of a smooth talker, she’s more likely to be suspicious than seduced.

2. Don’t Rely on the Date Night In

Women can understand the appeal of the date night in. Throw on a movie and some PJs and cuddle on the couch – it’s easy and relaxing, but it’s not exactly hard to plan an outing every now and then. I appreciate a man who actually plans something other than a date night in from time to time. This could be something as simple as bringing a bottle of wine and a blanket down to the beach, or grabbing an appetizer at a restaurant with a romantic patio

3. Take Initiative

The man who takes initiative always stands out for me. Why? Because men in our generation tend to be more passive than aggressive in their pursuit of women. The rise of the Lazy Courtship has caused any woman to feel like she has struck gold if she comes across a man who takes initiative. What used to be normal and expected in our parent’s generation, now feels like winning the lottery. Taking initiative is easy, you just need to ask her out on that second date well in advance. You might think you’d like to go out with her again, but you just haven’t gotten around to asking yet. The early bird catches the worm, so stop thinking and start doing. She will be much more attracted to you once you start taking the lead and start actively pursuing her.

4. Call Her

Use your sexy voice sometimes, not just your tired thumbs. If texting is the way you two communicate, that’s fine – but that doesn’t mean you can’t pick up the phone and call her sometimes too. Calling someone is getting more and more infrequent, so you’ll definitely stand out by doing this. Bonus if you’re calling to talk to her about a cute date idea you’ve come up with for the two of you.

5. Don’t Play Games

Don’t wait 3 days to text her, or act like you don’t care because you’re trying to play it cool. These types of games will only work on a girl – not a woman. Women are over games, and if you act like you don’t care – she will lose interest in you, not become more drawn to you. Most women have a threshold for games. For instance, you don’t text her every day? That’s fine. However, come day 3 or 4 without hearing from you, and you can bet your bottom dollar she’s choosing him over you. One man’s trash is a better man’s treasure.

Erica Gordon is the author of Aren’t You Glad You Read This? The Complete How-To Guide for Singles with a History of Failed Relationships Who Want their Next Relationship to Succeed, available for only $4.99 on Amazon and on iBooks here.

5 Responses

    Frank K

    “Show your weaknesses” – In my experience, that is woman repellent. If you want to get friend zoned, show that you are vulnerable. Woman say they like nice guys, but who do they have sex with? Hint: Not with nice guys.


    Guys, disregard all of those 5 points, you only need…. 1. GYOW.



    1. show me your achilles heel so I have an advantage over you.

    2. spend money on me, your company isn’t enough

    3. initiate if you’re attractive, otherwise you’re creepy and objectifying me

    4. see #5

    5. don’t play games, that’s my job and your games with neutralize mine. see point #1



    Look at these other comments. They are filled with such spite. Such malice. This is the society we live in. Everyone is so jaded. Keep writing what you’re writing. You’re a rare kind that is advocating something lost.

    No wonder we have so many problems as millennials.

    One thing I will say, I love calling, but most girls do not like being on the phone. I remember one particular girl told me she hated talking on the phone. When I was 15 I fell asleep talking to a girl for many hours on the phone. I woke up and she was still on the other line…

    It was my first love and a very painful experience when it ended.


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