Gentlemen, let me tell you a little secret: Effort is sexy. The type of woman you want will not stand for the lazy courtship. A girl might – but I’m accrediting the mature and confident women who know what they want in a man. These are the women who are over the dating games, and they’re the ones who will make the best partners.
When a man meets a special woman, he will most certainly care about her, and what it takes to keep her interested.
He should care about her needs, and he should put forth any extra effort necessary to accommodate her and make her feel comfortable, desired, and, well, courted.
Many of the men of today’s generation have subscribed to the lazy courtship. Many men firmly believe that chivalry and courting are old-fashioned, unnecessary tactics of impressing the woman they desire. The result? They’re passive in their pursuit of a woman even when they’re smitten, and many women find dating difficult for this exact reason.
Effort seems to be seen less and less among men of the newer generations.
For example, the sexy and aggressive alpha male who is in hot pursuit of a woman and puts extra effort in? That man has become a diamond in the rough, making way for the rise of the passive and lazy man, and the lazy courtship. This happens because women let men get away with it. Low self-esteem causes some women to settle for less, or as some suggest, becoming the new men – aggressively going after what they want in order to make up for the effort men are lacking.
Gentlemen: Whether you are looking for a special lady or have found one, how is your passive demeanor going to show her how special she is to you and more importantly, keep her around? Here are 6 reasons why women can’t stand passive men, or the lazy courtship:
1. Compatibility Requires Equal Effort
For a couple to be compatible, a mutual interest in progressing the relationship is required. That being said, equal effort must also be put forth, rather than one person simply being along for the ride.
In our generation women are noticing that men are becoming more and more passive, feeling less of a need to put effort into their pursuit. This is perhaps because of online dating apps offering many other options.
We see this in sexual scenarios, too, where the modern man doesn’t always put much effort in to seduce or ‘turn on’ a woman he wants to sleep with. But what if that women needs a little effort and seduction in order to feel comfortable enough to sleep with him?
If a woman is initiating without an equal amount of initiative and effort on her man’s part, she will begin to feel that she is pursuing him, and women can’t stand that feeling.
Equal effort is especially important during the beginning stages of a relationship, when a woman is relying on momentum and natural progression.
2. Many Women Still Want Men to Take Initiative and Take the Lead
It may seem old fashioned, but women are turned on by a man who takes the lead – or they at least take notice of him. Women inherently love to be pursued.
When it comes to sex, many women feel anxious or sexually awkward, and they want their man to take initiative and take the lead, while also making them feel relaxed and comfortable.
Going back to our parent’s generation, it was often expected of men to take the lead. Today, however, men believe women should take the lead sometimes, too.
The only problem with this mentality is that women still to this day love it when a man takes the lead and pursues them. There’s no denying that women are attracted to men who make the plans, put forth the initial effort, and make statements instead of asking questions. Men should try a more direct and bold approach, and be more forward by saying “Would you like to go out for a drink tonight around 7?” rather than the passive, “Hey, what are you up to?”
3. A Woman is a Reflection of the Way Her Man Treats Her
When a woman is being treated well by her man, and her man is putting effort in to show her how special she is to him, it is reflected in this woman’s general aura. A woman who is being treated well by her man has a glow about her. She is happy, passionate, driven and ambitious. She is a reflection of her man, and her mood is a reflection of how she’s treated. Anxiety sufferers, for example, can notice a dramatic shift in their mood when they’re treated well by their man.
If a woman has a man in her life who is lazy, passive, and doesn’t care enough to put in any real effort, this woman’s self-esteem and self-respect gets damaged. Putting forth effort (even in very small but consistent ways) makes a world of difference in any relationship.
4. Women Believe that Men Don’t Respect Anything Easily Attained
It’s a catch-22. Many modern men don’t feel the need to put in effort when it comes to pursuing the woman they want. However, they also don’t respect a woman who’s easily attained.
If a woman feels a connection with a man, and is willing to look past his frustratingly lazy courtship, the man will wonder why his lazy courtship worked. He may even subconsciously lose interest because it was too easy. It is a lose-lose situation. The win-win? Women need to have more self-respect and not settle for less than they deserve, while men could definitely step it up a little to show that they value how special their woman is. Knowing that a man does not respect anything easily attained can sometimes guard women from taking initiative themselves.
5. Modern Women Still Melt for Chivalry
Why is chivalry practically dead? Most likely because these days, a cute text message can be considered romantic, and even though women really appreciate cute texts, texting is easy – and lazy.
Not only is it lazy, but it’s also a way for a man to effortlessly create the false intimacy needed in order to keep women on the hook and string them along.
If his way of telling you he likes you or misses you is via text message, and he’s not making plans to see you, or calling you, or really proving it, then he is the type of man who will probably break up with you via text message too. This man is winning! He gets to have you when he wants you, and all he had to do was move his thumbs for a few seconds. Real chivalry looks a lot different than this, and women still crave it. Chivalry is important in order for a woman to feel like she matters to her man, so guys, plan a cute date night every once in awhile!
Light some candles, give her a massage, and show some effort.
6. Many Women Measure Their Value in the Amount of Effort the Man Puts Forth
From a man’s perspective, he might think it’s awesome that his passive pursuit works. These men, however, are usually only hooking women with low self-esteem and low self-respect who don’t think they deserve much more than what they’re getting out of their man. I mentioned how texting is an example of a man’s lazy courtship as it can help create false intimacy.
Real intimacy comes in different forms, and if a man doesn’t care about his woman that much, it will show in the minimal effort put forth – and a woman will realize she must not be that valuable to him. If she’s a good woman and worth it, some effort should be put forth on the man’s part. Go and see her if she’s sick instead of texting “feel better soon”, and call her on Wednesday to ask her out Saturday night instead of passively waiting until the weekend rolls around. Even small efforts like this can make an incredible difference, so if you find a woman who is worth it, don’t hold back – and don’t be lazy.