When you’re planning an exciting trip to some exotic destination to escape your city’s cold weather, you’re getting ready for vacation-mode. It’s in this mode that you’ll become a different, better version of yourself.

The physical distance you’ve put between yourself and your home town seems to work as a portal that lets you temporarily embody an idealized version of you. Suddenly, you have a pep in your step and you just feel happier and more alive. Perceptible distance can therefore create a psychological distance, as well. You’ll notice a separation from the lively vacation-mode you and the more morose mentality you left at home.

None of this has to be temporary, though. The fun, carefree and positive person you become when you’re on vacation isn’t someone who you have to leave in the tropics. You most certainly can and should bring that version of you home, because permanently adopting a vacation mindset will dramatically improve your quality of life – and your dating life.

This article is an excerpt from the popular new dating advice book and how-to relationship guide, “Aren’t You Glad You Read This?”

If you’re single, you’re probably banking on a fun vacation hook-up while you’re away, meanwhile avoiding men in your home town. Why is it that the vacationing version of you always has a much easier time meeting men than the regular you? When it comes to flirting, dating, romance and hooking up, it all seems so effortless when you’re away on holiday as a single traveler.


That carefree, in-the-moment and opportunistic version of you shouldn’t be reserved for vacations. No, the awesome vacation-mode you should come out to play a lot more often. If we adopted that I’m-on-vacation mentality every day, our love lives would stand to benefit a remarkable change. It’s this holiday mindset that will get you everywhere when it comes to dating.

Here are 6 reasons why permanently adopting the holiday mindset will significantly change and improve your dating life:

1. You’ll be bold and in-the-moment

When you’re on holiday, there’s no past and there’s no future. The only ‘you’ is the present you. You learn to live in the moment when you’re away, because you want to make the most of your short vacation.

This means that you appreciate everything a lot more, you take advantage of more opportunities, and you don’t shy away from experiences.

If we adopted this mentality in our everyday lives, dating would be so much better.

2. You can be anyone you want to be

When this playful, uninhibited, just-go-for-it version of you comes out on vacation, you begin to re-identify yourself in a very positive way. Instead of letting that new identity vanish when you get back home, try your best to keep the new you alive.

3. You’ll throw inhibitions to the wind

On vacation, you’re less reserved, less inhibited, more outgoing and more confident. You take advantage of every opportunity, you have inhibited vacation sex, amazing romanticized dates and you truly let loose.

Feeling as though you have nothing to lose is a big plus of the holiday mindset, and if we kept that mentality going, we wouldn’t lose out on similar opportunities back home. If back home we felt that we didn’t have time to waste, we wouldn’t let our insecurities get in the way of an opportunity to get out there and meet someone.

4. You’ll seize each day

It’s the sense of time limitations that pushes us to seize each day when we’re on vacation. We don’t waste time getting caught up in our insecurities – we just put the damn bikini on. We don’t hide out in our hotel room on a Friday night – we go out for drinks with that cute guy from the pool and hook up because time’s a wasting.

We put ourselves out there more, and that’s why so many great experiences come our way. If we lived each day like this, we’d open ourselves up to more opportunities and more people.

Experiences and opportunities do not always fall into your lap. There’s a reason why that go-getter attitude you have on vacation pays off.

5. You’ll plan fun dates and explore just like a tourist would

You of course romanticize your new, exotic location when you’re away. When you’re in a romantic city, it’s easier to go on more romantic dates.

In fact, every date on vacation feels like an extra-romantic date, not a regular date. When you go on dates that take place in new and beautiful settings, you’re naturally inclined to fall for someone faster. But guess what? You can go on special, unique and romantic dates back home, too. Regular dates aren’t necessary just because you’re no longer on vacation! Every city can be romanticized – you just have to date like a tourist, and be a tourist in your own city.

6. It’s all those positive vibes

You’re on vacation, so of course you’re putting out positive vibes and exuding a positive energy. It’s that happy, positive energy that men find so attractive. There’s nothing sexier than a smile, an appreciation for life, confidence and a carefree attitude.

Erica Gordon is the author of Aren’t You Glad You Read This? The Complete How-To Guide for Singles with a History of Failed Relationships Who Want their Next Relationship to Succeed, available for only $4.99 on Amazon and on iBooks here.


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