As an introvert, you’re a great listener and a loyal friend. You’re often always there for others but you must keep in mind that you have your own needs, too, and a little bit of romance is definitely one of them.
Dating can be tough for an introvert for several reasons: your introverted personality is often misunderstood for you not enjoying yourself on a date; dating takes up a ton of emotional energy for you; you avoid putting yourself out there and you have trouble finding people who make you feel at ease on dates.
Dating has likely always been an activity you dread, as you would rather spend a night in alone or with your trusted close friends than be out meeting new people. This often leads to you being left on the sidelines instead of enjoying a modern day romance. Following these tips will put your mind at ease and allow you to re-enter the dating game stronger than ever:
1. Don’t Believe You Will Lose All Your “You Time”
Dating can seem a bit intimidating at first as you might be worried that you’ll have to give up your down time. As long as you’re honest with yourself in the beginning stages, you’ll do just fine. Be realistic and dedicate just one or two days per week to dating so you won’t feel overwhelmed.
Let your date know that you can’t make plans at the last minute and that you prefer to make plans in advance. This will reduce any social anxiety you have about the date, because you’re giving yourself time to mentally prepare for your date by planning ahead. Planning makes all the difference, and you’ll go into your date feeling much more at ease.
2. Avoid Meeting In A Crowded Place
As an introvert, you have this innate ability to ‘feel’ everything that’s happening around you. At events where there are huge crowds this can leave you feeling emotionally exhausted and ready to run back home.
Organize your date somewhere you feel at ease like your favourite restaurant or a romantic walk. When you’re stress-free, your date will then be able to see the very best version of yourself. Choosing a place you know you feel comfortable going to really helps with this.
3. Try To Avoid Cancelling At The Last Minute
You have probably been told more than a dozen times that you need to come out of your shell a bit more. You aren’t unfamiliar with cancelling plans at the last minute when you just can’t gather the emotional energy to get out the front door.
If you are feel like you have cold feet all of a sudden then try to drive straight through your anxiety and still make an appearance. Cancelling at the last minute may blow a future chance and who knows what fun you could have missed out in. Life is for living after all, and if you suck it up and go on the date, you’ll probably feel better as soon as you’re actually there.
4. Don’t Allow Yourself To Be Misunderstood
You might find yourself in a position where you could be misunderstood because your introverted personality is a difficult one to read. Speak openly about your own emotional availability and how you are ready for a new romance.
Introverts take longer than others to let their guard down but it is always worth the wait. Remind your date that they will require some patience but at no point are you leading them on. They will see winning your affection as a challenge and become more interested day by day.
5. Explain In Advance What Time You Expect To Be Home
When you have been out of the house for long periods of time your energy levels start to slump. Often a lot of social activity or extended evenings can leave introverts feeling incredibly overwhelmed. Mentioning to your date out of the blue that you are ready to shoot off may cause hurt feelings or some confusion about where they went wrong.
The best way around this is to pick a time in the evening when you would like to leave and let your date know in advance this is when you intend to be back home with your slippers on and a hot drink in your hand.
6. Date Someone Who Shares The Same Interests
Introverts have a well-known phobia of small-talk. The idea of trying to fill the time on your date by focusing on dull topics is a terrifying thought.
Always make sure in advance that your date shares the same interests as you, not just your typical standard hobbies but that they could actually carry an in-depth conversation about the things you really love. This will not only put you at ease knowing that there will be plenty to talk about but also you have a better chance of success if you are two kindred spirits.
7. Be Clear That You’re Not Interested In Meeting New People Just Yet
Meeting new people is not a pleasant social activity for an introvert. If your date suggests that you will be heading to a party where a lot of their friends will be then politely decline until you are more comfortable.
The last thing you need on your plate is turning bright red when you are introduced to many new faces. If your relationship gradually becomes more serious then ask to be introduced to family and friends in smaller groups. Eventually you would have met everyone but not feel bombarded all at once.
8. Avoid Dating Unbalanced People
If you find your date showing early signs of an unbalanced personality then you should think about calling it day immediately. Introverts like yourself need calm and security so if your partner is constantly making you feel anxious with random emotional outbursts then it’s time to walk away. You’ll also need to date someone who is straightforward, direct and clear with her or her intentions to help make you feel at ease around them.
Introverts and extroverts have been dating for centuries and often these relationships can become long-lasting romances. But if someone is just far too over-the-top for you then don’t be afraid to admit it will never work out.
9. Discuss The Joy Of A Quiet Night In
As an introvert you will need your batteries charging a lot more than the average person. You should stress with your potential dates how important a night in is to you and that you will choose Netflix over a nightclub any day.
Some extroverts might not be as happy with a sofa and blankets day so always make it clear that this is how you enjoy spending your downtime then they will be aware of what is to come.
10. Be Honest
The worst mistake you can make when you start dating is pretending you are someone else. If you avoid being honest about which situations you are most comfortable or uncomfortable with, then this may land you in hot water much later on.
Your date might believe you are “cooling off” when the charade begins to drop or that you are no longer interested. Everyone is unique and just being yourself will attract the perfect person for you.