Let me guess – you’re reading this article on some sort of handheld electronic device, right? Is Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat running in the background, too? Is your boyfriend or your girlfriend sitting next to you feeling ignored? Today, social media has completely transformed – and ruined – the whole romance and dating experience. Instead of face-to-face real life experiences, social media is completely replacing those IRL experiences with calculated digital representations.
So, we’re really in the closest relationship with our screens. Your “real life” relationship is struggling because of these on-screen exaggerations, though. Here are a few ways social media is ruining your real-life relationships:
1. You’re Missing Being “In” the Moment
Did you just get served a gorgeous plate of food? Are you on vacation at a beautiful beach together? Is your partner getting down on one knee to propose? I bet you just pulled out your phone to Snapchat this moment… Put the phone down!
With all these crazy apps encouraging you to follow the trend of documenting everything for your followers to see, you yourself are missing out on the special moments taking place.
When did society decide that treasuring happy memories was overrated? When did we switch to wanting these memories broadcast all over the internet instead of treasuring them? There is simply no mystery left in anything anymore – and no more privacy, either.
Especially when it comes to dating and relationships, what partner is going to want you snapchatting throughout a date? Enjoy yourself and be in the moment while you can. Let there be things you keep to yourself.
2. It’s Creating Jealousy
It goes without saying that social media is at the forefront when it comes to things that create jealousy in relationships. It’s so easy to comb through our partner’s social media accounts looking for evidence or clues that one is cheating, being dishonest, flirting, etc. Have you noticed that he’s constantly liking the same random girls IG photos? Just stop! A lot of the time we put doubt in our own mind by sifting through photos, friends, and videos. We’ve all done it… cyber-stalking. Nothing is worse than going years back on your partner’s page to the time of ex-lovers to encourage unnecessary jealousy, comparisons and resentment.
We’re human, it’ll happen, just stop snooping okay? Remember the time before social media took over and we didn’t have to know all these things, because it wasn’t actually normal to know that much? Things were easier then.
3. It’s Setting Up Fights
The jealousy you’re feeling by cyber-stalking and digging up dirt on your partner is causing fights, but it’s not just that. Access to your partner’s social media is encouraging you to ask a ton of questions and encouraging you to get super nosy. The more people tend to find, the more questions are asked – resulting in the other party becoming very defensive and guarded.
The same goes for dating sites – stop checking in to see when they last logged in. You’re only creating situations in your head which isn’t healthy. Plus, a relationship just starting out won’t survive if you’re going into it worried and anxious from the get go – this is a disaster waiting to happen.
Most importantly, the time you’re spending on Facebook, or other social media sites, is precious time that is being taken away from you and your relationship.
4. You’re Creating Doubt
Finding things about your significant other on Facebook, or imagining stories based on what you see on their social media, is only you creating doubt. This results in feelings of anxiety and brings stress into the relationship. Many people will hide the findings while others will come out with it and get it off their chest. Either way, stop letting what you see on social media create doubt within yourself or within your relationship.
Festering and pestering about “the past” is only going to stunt your relationship’s growth and create unnecessary drama and hardships. Constantly referring to their past is going to create false doubt in your mind and you’re going to be the cause of your own demise. Remember, your partner is with you for a reason (and visa versa), so give each other the benefit of the doubt.
5. You’re Not Being Careful What You Post
Many employers this day and age actually look at your social media handles when it comes to picking the right candidate for the job. This is also true when it comes to a relationship. As soon as we meet someone, what’s the first thing likely to happen? Google them! Sure enough you’ll be finding them on Facebook and seeing how many mutual friends you have in common.
You could be ruining how you’re perceived by potential partners, by posting unflattering photos (such as photos of you wasted or you straddling some guy.)
If you’re in a relationsihp, and your partner is away on a business trip, don’t go on a bender and post a bunch of party pics while they’re away. Let’s just say you might not be coming home to open arms.
6. Stop Using Facebook to Determine Your Relationship
We’ve all heard that saying “it’s not official until it’s Facebook official”. That may have been true a few years ago, but now that isn’t the case. A lot of people are opting out when it comes to even showing a status of availability or unavailability.
Those in a relationship and choosing not to ‘flaunt’ it so to speak, may raise questions as to why they don’t want their Facebook friends to know about it. No, people do not need to know the ins and outs of one’s relationship, but if you are happy and secure in one, there is no reason why people shouldn’t know you’re taken.
On the other hand, some choose not to for sake of crazy exs, or divorcees that may use it as leverage. These are fair factors in wanting to maintain some privacy. When it comes to a relationship, be as transparent as possible. Honesty is always the best policy. Your partner may be wondering why you’re keeping your relationship private, and it’s best that you explain this to them before they even have to ask.
7. Nothing is Private
Gone are the days when you called your best friend to talk for hours about your day and to gab about your latest fling. Social media is the new way we vent. Whether it’s from a quick tweet or status update, our feelings are completely exposed and on display for the world to see.
Now, when something happens at work, or you get into a fight with your significant other, most people will go straight to their phones and type out a passive post – angry, happy, sad, whatever it may be, it’s getting uploaded in a passive aggressive way. Now, instead of talking it out calmly and trying to diffuse the situation, you are getting opinions left right and center from your friends, family, etc. and it’s probably making the problem at hand a lot worse than it needs to be.
The problem with this type of open sharing between yourself and people who are not in the relationship, is that it can really drive a wedge between the couple – or a set of friends choosing sides. Try to get over things face-to-face and leave out the biased opinions of your Facebook friends. Go back to calling one person – your best friend – if you really need to talk about it. Better yet, just talk to your partner about how you feel directly.
Do you know a couple who lets social media get in the way of their relationship? Share this article with them and help stop the madness!