Listen up, guys. If you find yourself dating a real woman, you could be in for a few surprises. We’ve covered the 9 signs a woman is dating a real man, but this one is for the gentlemen out there who want to date a good woman. Sometimes you don’t realize you’re dating a woman with her shit together until you’re slapped in the face by her confidence or her intolerance of your bad behavior.

These women do come with their complications because they won’t bend over backwards for you or tolerate your bullshit, but most guys would rather date a woman of substance and standards, if they’re honest with themselves.

One of the most important things to remember is that a real woman knows how to communicate. She has healthy communication skills. She doesn’t play games, she doesn’t get combative, she won’t stonewall you or give you the silent treatment, nor will she attack you when she’s upset. Check out this article about healthy communication signs, including how to communicate effectively (and healthily) in relationships, so that conflicts resolve instead of escalate.

Here are 10 signs you’re dating a ‘real’ woman who has her shit together:

1. She knows her limits.

A grounded and mature woman knows her limits. This means that she won’t let herself get messy drunk on a date, or spend her hard-earned income irresponsibly. She’s instead got a good head on her shoulders and has fun while being classy and responsible.

2. She has passions and hobbies.

A woman who has her shit together has something in her life she’s incredibly passionate about. She therefore doesn’t rely on you to be happy, she instead focuses her energy into her passions. Having you in her life is a bonus, but not the be all, end all.

3. When you snooze, you lose.

When you’re dating a woman with self-respect, she won’t wait around for you to make plans with her. If it’s already Wednesday and you haven’t asked her out for weekend plans yet, you can bet your ass she’ll already have a fully booked weekend by the time you text her. You know you’re dating a woman with her shit together if she only accepts a date planned in advance – and that’s how it should be.

4. You can’t fool her twice.

A ‘real’ woman is intolerant of bullshit. She might let something slide once, giving you the benefit of the doubt. If there’s a second time, she’ll call you out on it because self-confident woman have no problem calling men out on their bullshit. If a woman has high standards, it’s simply because she knows she’s good enough to wait for a deserving man who’s capable of meeting those standards.

5. She won’t have a conniption over anything.

A girl might throw a tantrum at any and every sign of bad behavior, but a woman will simply walk away, cool off, and reassess. If she’s willing to let it go, she will do exactly that rather than wasting her time nagging you. And if she felt disrespected, she’ll cut her losses and end the relationship – sans dramatic fight. If there’s ever something seriously bothering her that she believes can be resolved, she’ll talk it out with you in the grown-up way.

6. She has goals.

A confident woman has goals and dreams. Beyond that, she has actual plans to implement them and lives her life with purpose. She has drive, and is either set in a great career or has a plan to become set in one.

7. She isn’t going to always accommodate you.

A real woman has to be pursued, because she isn’t always going to be available or accommodating. She won’t bend over backwards for you. She’s got her shit together, so why should she be at your beck and call?

8. She isn’t attention-seeking.

A real woman has enough self-confidence that she does not require validity from others. She doesn’t feel the need to wear low-cut shirts, hoping your friends will find her attractive. She won’t feel compelled to seek attention from you by flirting with other men to make you jealous. All she really cares about is that she has your attention and your adoration. Real women don’t play silly games.

9. She’s adventurous.

The same old routine bores her because she’s not simple-minded. She wants to experience new things, and she’ll want you to experience new things with her. That’s one of the many reasons why she makes such a great girlfriend.

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