Millions of viewers recently watched Kaitlyn Bristowe date several divine bachelors last season on ABC’s The Bachelorette. Kupah James was one of them, and although he wasn’t Kaitlyn’s final choice, he’s definitely a catch. Kupah spoke to us about what he looks for in a woman, his deal-breakers, what went on behind the scenes in the bachelor mansion, and what his idea of a SuperDate is. Needless to say, this guy won’t be single for long.
Single women all over North America swooned when they saw you on this past season of The Bachelorette. What made you decide to go on a reality TV show in search for love?
KJ: I have focused so much of my life on my career, and now at age 32, I’m hoping to make a connection with someone whom I might not have had the chance of meeting in my everyday life, outside of my usual circles.
The concept of going out on a real date has become a casualty of our generation’s casual dating culture. The TV series The Bachelor and The Bachelorette receives praise for bringing back the traditional date, featuring awesome dates on the show and reminding viewers what a real date looks like! What’s your idea of a SuperDate?
KJ: A perfect date, in my opinion, would be a setting where we can enjoy each other’s company and experience the moment. I wouldn’t want a concert or movie, because that would be too distracting when I want to focus on my date. I also think that a date doesn’t always have to be “let’s go for drinks” because that’s so generic and mundane.
My idea of a SuperDate would be a lovely rooftop dinner followed by a boat ride, or maybe we’d go to a painting class together or a picnic in a nice park. The goal would be to spend the evening with a person who is enjoyable and fun to be with, and stray from the mundane.
I agree that dating has taken a huge turn for the worst – or maybe dating just needs to be redefined – I’m unsure. It’s extremely difficult to “figure out” if someone likes you, or if you’re just their entertainment for the evening, which sucks because there are still some old school guys out there that genuinely want to get to know a woman and want to be a gentleman. However, women have so many options now with social media and dating apps, I feel that it can be hard to stand out. Throw my bashfulness in the mix and you no longer need to keep asking me why I’m single! I’m assertive in my career but totally shy when it comes to romantic opportunities. Hopefully my SuperDate will work out!
What do you look for in a woman?
KJ: Beauty, brains and side of fitness- which I explain on my blog here!
What are your deal-breakers when it comes to relationships?
KJ: My lifestyle and energy are pretty unique, and sometimes it’s challenging for me to meet a person who can understand me and that can be discouraging. I have tried to be “less” but it’s just not me. I’m very straightforward and direct, as well as very assertive with a lot of energy. I also enjoy having deep, real conversations and can sometimes be an analyzer. Some women think I’m intense, and get overwhelmed. A deal breaker for me would definitely be poor conversation. I seek good talks and debates, I love learning from others past experiences and hearing about their goals, and what makes them tick. If a woman can’t hold a conversation, that’s a huge turn off for me.
Can you tell us a bit more about yourself?
KJ: For fun I love going to the movies, eating out, and just being social. I currently manage Klass Universal Entertainment which is a high end DJ entertainment company. We’re at your service for weddings, bar and bat-mitzvah, corporate events as well as celebrity functions. Klass has worked events with the New England Patriots, AOL, Google, Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton, the Boston Red Sox and an upcoming DJ group CRVFTSMEN. I’m also the founder of WHET Fitness which is my own fitness brand. It includes freestyle fitness, nutrition, and personal training for the everyday person who’s not looking to compete but just wants to get more fit. Lastly, I’m a DJ and Host for Klass Universal Entertainment, and I create mixes which can be found at KupahJames.Com.
Is there a side of your personality that wasn’t shown on the show or a side of you that viewers didn’t get to see?
KJ: Yes. While I completely own my behavior on the show, it wasn’t 100% accurate in its editing and portrayal of the evening’s events. Although I am very social, I’m also very bashful when it comes to females. My friends think my insecurities are ridiculous. I try to explain to them that just because they think I can approach women doesn’t make it any easier for me to actually do it. I didn’t pursue Kaitlyn on the boxing date, but there was more to it than my interest in boxing. I didn’t know I was allowed to grab her and take her aside, and later realized several others did take her aside. I definitely missed out on that opportunity.
What went on behind the scenes at the bachelor mansion? Any funny stories you’d like to share?
KJ: I taught the fellas (Tanner, Finney and a few others) the schmoney dance! It was hilarious and so much fun. Lots of bro talks took place at the house and we all cooked for one another and worked out together. We had more time to get to know each other and hang out than the women do on The Bachelor, because men don’t take nearly as long to get ready as women, so we definitely had a lot more downtime to just hang out together. Lots of friendships were formed during the process, which is one of the reasons why I feel incredibly lucky to have had the opportunity to experience being on The Bachelorette.
We saw several dramatic interactions on the show, arguably caused by intoxication. Do you think that in the future, the producers of The Bachelorette should better moderate the alcohol consumption of its participants?
KJ: I think adults should act like adults and hold themselves responsible for the amount of alcohol they drink. It should be common sense not to drink too much since you’re on TV, and to be careful about it, but not everyone has that self-control. Producers and handlers are more than willing to fill up your cup and offer shots to anyone with a ready and willing hand out, however they DO NOT force any of us to drink or eat. That’s something that we should be accountable for. It does get the better of us and they ARE making a show, a very entertaining one to say the least so don’t expect them to cut anyone off in the near future!
The application process to be on The Bachelorette is quite competitive. Why do you think producers chose you to be on the show this season?
KJ: I’m honestly not sure, they said they liked my name and photos but not much more than that. I followed the application instructions to the letter and I must have passed all of their tests. There may be other reasons as to why I made it but I’ll let people speculate. I was honored to be given the chance to take part and that’s what matters to me the most.
Have you maintained friendships with any of the other bachelors on Kaitlyn’s season?
KJ: Yes I have, definitely. I’m buddies with a bunch of the guys. Jared being one of them, as well as Ben H, Ben Z, Tanner, Jonathan, Tony, Justin, Ryan – just to name a few. I didn’t have any issues with any of the guys in the house and I recently went to an event at Stage Nightclub in Boston with Jared Haibon, Chris Soules and Dylan Petit.
What’s one of your favourite memories from being on the show that wasn’t captured on camera?
KJ: I had some great one on ones with producers, and there was one night we are all making fun of Chris Soules laugh and his twitch with asked a serious question. It was so funny dudes were all laughing so hard. It was like amateur hour at the Apollo.
Your exit from The Bachelorette season 11 was a tad dramatic. Tell us, what really happened between you and Kaitlyn, and what is the truth behind your heated exit?
KJ: I’ve had a lot of time to think about it and I honestly think it was just poor communication on both parts. I think I came off uninterested in Kaitlyn because I didn’t talk to her on the boxing date and I voted for Britt. I think Kaitlyn had every right to question me because of my behavior.
I had expressed concerns to the producers that I may not have a connection with Kaitlyn, and I said that I didn’t want to keep getting roses just to fill a minority quota on the show. The producers suggested I confront Kaitlyn about this, but because it had been such a stressful day, that conversation with her didn’t go well and she asked me to leave the show.
Viewers of the show may have seen my extreme frustration while talking to Kaitlyn, and judged me for it, without realizing the context. I had pent up frustrations that day because I didn’t know I could take Kaitlyn aside during the boxing date, so it looked like I wasn’t interested which wasn’t necessarily the case. I was also upset because I had no idea that we would have to fight each other during the boxing date – and I wasn’t sure if I could opt out. I assumed I had to do it. I’m not a fan of violence and I was upset when Jared got hurt because he was a good friend. Mix all of those frustrations with about 7 Jameson’s on the rocks and you get my exit. I’m embarrassed about how I spoke to Kaitlyn, and embarrassed at how I carried myself. I own my actions 100% though. I wish I wasn’t as intoxicated as I was, especially since it was all filmed, but what can you do?
As far as the show airing my anger and potential threat to producers, that was fabricated. I was never going to attack any producers or camera men and I only screamed once. One scream, when I yelled up at the sky, out of frustration. That’s it. The show just decided to air it 20 times on loop! I was frustrated, confused, isolated, drunk, insulted, embarrassed, sent home and humiliated. Thus my exit wasn’t my proudest moment. I am truly sorry and regretful of my behaviour.
What did you take away from your experience on Kaitlyn’s season of The Bachelorette?
KJ: I took a lot home from the show. Humility being one of them. I’m humbled greatly as to how the world and Hollywood works which was a great experience for me.
Mostly what I took from it was the “want” to find ultimately what Kaitlyn found and that’s “love” I also want to find my “first lady” and I’m hoping I didn’t scare them all away with my exit. I would like the opportunity to find someone to build a relationship and I went to the Bachelorette in hopes putting myself out there, and left with a desire to meet a women who knocks me off my feet. I’m confident she is out there so my eyes and ears are open.
You can follow Kupah on Twitter @KupahJames