I am not a self-proclaimed relationship expert, but I do have experience with relationships, good and bad. I believe the “modern” relationship has become a game show of emotion.
Everyone seems to be putting on a facade, pretending in one way or another to be someone else, and pretending they have things they don’t; thus generating a general lack of any true authenticity as themselves and in the world of dating.
This false presentation has lead us to a disconnect between the sexes. Actually, it has lead us to a disconnect between anyone and everyone. It could be due to the growth of social media and online dating sites, where image is such a driving force, and everyone aims to present a controlled image of themselves that is attractive and modified for perfection.
This disconnection has occurred because the word “Truth” has been given a bad connotation, and has become both a word and a concept we try to avoid. We prefix it with “…if I can tell you the truth” when we have something “bad” to say, or “the truth may hurt but…” It’s true, the truth can hurt – but it can also be extremely liberating.
I continuously hear people complain about “games” when it comes to love and relationships. Women complain that Men play games, and Men complain that Women play games. If both sexes say there is a problem, why is nothing changing? I believe it is because we do not tell others and ourselves the truth.
We are not honest anymore about who we are or what we want. We are not honest about our needs for love, grace, compassion, tenderness etc. We sugar-coat ourselves as we try to present an image of perfection, because we believe if we are perfect we are then impervious to pain, rejection, the angst of uncertainty, etc.; which is exactly where the realm of love resides.
I believe that something as simple and powerful as the truth is the antidote for the disconnect we have been feeling. If you want to call someone, do it! If you want to approach the person you’ve had a crush on, do it! Take the leap of faith, be the first, be brave – be courageous and tell the truth about how you feel and who you are. What’s the worst that could happen? They could say no, that’s true, but they could also say yes.
We are a culture and generation accustomed to looking at the negative possibility and discarding the optimistic one; which is that they may say yes if you are open and truthful.
So be open, be exposed, be vulnerable – because that is what the truth requires, and that is what love requires. A vulnerability is needed to be exposed and naked, not just in the flesh but in the soul. Naked to the core of who you are and what you love: your passions, your flaws, your faults, and your dreams.
If people would stop pretending to be someone or something that they aren’t, and really show who they are, I believe they will begin to attract others to their authenticity – instead of seeking the love and adoration of people who don’t really know who they are.
If we do this, and we are brave enough to be seen, we may just discover that “the games” are a figment of our imagination and the truth is a path to our freedom.