The recent impact of continuous instant gratification and modern technologies has taken over our lives. We’re constantly using our smartphones and these technologies to connect socially, stalk our exes, appear more attractive, become more knowledgeable and keep up-to-date with current events.

Some of us may feel more connected to our peers than ever thanks to these technological advances, but some of us are looking for a much deeper emotional connection than just social flutters, and something real instead of filtered.

Romance is what everyone truly searches for as we are always dreaming of being swept off our feet. Sadly, the old days of romance seem to going out the window as we’re selling our souls to modern technology. Here are 5 modern technologies that are romance-killers:

1. Texting

Don’t get me wrong, I love that texting was invented – but it’s also the number one cause of breakups. Texting about a sensitive topic instead of talking on the phone causes things to get misconstrued, said the wrong way, and taken the wrong way. Plus, texting is enabling us to be lazy in our relationships. It’s so easy to text “Goodnight Baby x” instead of picking up your phone and making that late night call. Don’t underestimate how comforting and romantic a phone call can be for your partner – I’m sure they’d love to hear your voice before they go to sleep. During day-to-day activities always put time aside to have a conversation over the phone, it will really show the one you love that you’re thinking of them and enjoy their long-winded stories that just can’t come through via text.

Often, text messages can be problematic as it is hard to read general tone and conviction. Even if you only have time for a very brief ten-second call to say, “I love you” it will mean so much more than just typing it out. Instead of texting “get well soon, babe” we should be bringing each other soup, and instead of texting “I miss you” we should be planning a surprise visit.

If you’re anything like me, then you’ll be able to remember when you would pick a time with your crush and talk on the landline for hours. Those were the days, laid across the bed as you slowly turned the phone cord through your fingers.

Now, we go out and swap numbers with someone, and before we’re home the back and forth messages have already begun. Try giving your potential date a certain time when they can reach you. If he or she is really is keen they’ll make the call and it will be a little more exciting.

1. Tinder

Tinder is a huge romance-killer. You instantly decide if you’re attracted to someone based on one image of someone’s face, then if they think your face (or body) is up to standard in return – congratulations you’re a match! Depressing isn’t it? The worst is yet to come as you are now pushed into a situation where you have to start a conversation with a complete stranger via text.

Telling your grandkids years from now how you both met by downloading an app and swiping right doesn’t really come across as true romance, and yet it’s how so many singles are meeting people. Perhaps a cute “how we met story” is something most millennials may have to give up.

Tinder has seen some examples of successful relationships, but we should at lesat try not to compromise our first impressions of people based on solely superficial qualities.

3. Streaming Movies

As recent as only a few years ago, many couples would date religiously at the cinema. Now it’s much easier to just slip into your pajamas, grab a whole bag of snacks, relax in bed together and stream movies rather than go out and do any sort of date night. Basically, it’s just one more way our generation’s access to new technologies is making us lazy, and killing off romance.

Couples recently have vented their frustrations that streaming is taking over their sex life, there’s no point starting any romantic moves in the bedroom because – oh, wait – the next episode is just about to start. Nowadays we seem to be gripping less onto our partners and more on the next big season cliffhanger.

Putting aside at least one agreed-upon night every week to enjoy a date outside the confinement of your own home is necessary for any relationship to succeed.

4. Online Shopping

If a significant event, holiday or birthday is approaching, there’s nothing nicer than a truly thoughtful gift. Planning a surprise for weeks in advance or spending the extra time to have a special something custom-made will always pay off.

With the constant growth of online shopping, we’re not required to be as thoughtful and it’s easy for us to procrastinate since we know next-day-delivery exists. Tons of suggestions are made for you online, and ordering a next-day delivery to just be dropped at your partner’s door at the last minute really lacks romantic thought.

For special occasions, put an earlier date in your diary where you dedicate time to go out shopping for something unique. You’ll be surprised how creative you can be if you don’t procrastinate. The sentimentality of these actions can speak volumes.

5. Social Media

It’s common knowledge that social media is addictive. When you’re out having a meal in a nice restaurant you’ll often find yourself picking up your phone between courses for a quick update or to Instagram your meal. If you walk into any busy restaurant you may see more faces fixed on their phones than the company across the table, which you might find hilarious right up until you realize you’re doing it yourself.

On date night, have a strict “no social media” policy. If the majority of your conversation stems from talking about other people’s lives on your news feed then you might be facing serious problems with communication.

Engage more in current affairs or what has being happening in your life that week. You may find yourself opening up more about your feelings to your partner instead of hiding behind the drama of others. Remember, time with your partner should be spent displaying the real you, not the social media version of yourself.

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