Single women have options. It’s not exactly difficult to meet a man. We could go on a ton of dates. We could go on a date with a different man every night if we wanted to. Thanks to the rise of dating apps, we have access to a plethora of single men on the daily. There’s really no excuse as to why we aren’t going on a lot of dates. Or is there? Here are 40 hilarious but true reasons why women don’t go on as many dates as they perhaps could or should:
1. You would rather watch Netflix, so you pretend to be sick.
You will totally fake an illness and cancel if you’re more into finishing Suits on Netflix. So what? Sometimes you’re just not in the mood to go on a date. That’s fine. Work on that fake cough, girl.
2. You know that you will probably say something embarrassing if you go on this date. He has no clue that you’re a super awkward person.
You dread that awkward silence right after you say something stupid on the date. You try saying something smart, it comes out sounding dumb, and then his face says it all.
3. You’ll also probably do something embarrassing.
So that happened.
4. Getting ready is SO tedious.
Washing your hair is the most time-consuming thing ever. Your hair takes forever to look just right. Getting ready is too exhausting to deal with sometimes, and the effort it takes is not worth it – not even for a hot date.
5. Seriously, guys. It’s not like we can powder our noses and poof! Done. Ready.
Men think it’s a lot simpler than it is.
6. Before you know it, you have spent so much time getting ready that it’s now too late to go.
Yup. You missed the date. You look beautiful, congratulations, but now you’re all dressed up with no place to go.
7. Your perfectly crafted look will probably not even last the cab ride.
There’s a high chance by the time you meet him, your look will have somehow ruined itself.
8. He probably won’t “get” you.
9. You have to be polite on dates, which means you can’t say what you’re thinking.
10. It’s also polite to pretend you care about what he rambles on about, even if you really don’t care.
I think he just explained how important it is to …. oh who am I kidding. I wasn’t listening.
11. You are broke until payday and can’t risk that he won’t pay for the date.
What if he takes you to some nice place, and then only pays his half because he grew up in anti-gentleman, no-chance-for-a-second-date town? Note to the fellas: if you want a second date, pay on the first date. Especially if the date was your idea.
12. He is for some reason incapable of taking the initiative to come up with a proper plan.
The most frustrating thing ever: when the best you get is “do you want to maybe do something?” Or “What would you like to do…?” It would be nice if you got a laid-out plan from a man who took the lead for once.
13. He doesn’t give you enough advance notice, which is super frustrating, because you need time to wash your hair.
Yeah because, I have no life, and I just keep my schedule wide open in case you ask me out the day of.
14. Your friends usually present you with a more enticing opportunity than this said “date”.
Yes. I actually would rather go to Taco Bell with you, Karen.
15. You’d have more fun flirting with men online.
16. He’ll probably take you somewhere lame.
So I guess this is your idea of a date, huh.
17. You’re only supposed to go on a date if you’re feeling “on”.
You can’t be tired, you have to be with it. Otherwise, you won’t make a good impression.
18. You’re supposed to be witty and sexy.
19. You definitely can’t go on a date if you’re in a a bad mood.
Ok, true, let’s wait until I’m in a good mood, so that I’m good company. I’m thinking sometime in 2016?
20. Most of the time you just feel like relaxing in bed:
There are things so satisfying, they are worth missing out on a boyfriend.
21. If it’s a first date, you know there’s a high chance that you might meet the guy and immediately know that you don’t like him.
Aaaand now you’re stuck with him for an entire evening when you could have been doing your laundry. Or watching Netflix. Or playing with your cat.
22. It’s only a matter of time before he reveals something that is a total deal-breaker.
23. Even if you do like him, it’s unlikely you’ll get his mother’s approval.
Some guys make you pass the mom test.
24. You’re super hungry, and yet you’re supposed to be “lady-like” and not eat too much on a date.
Great. That means drinking to much by default. There is no winning.
25. You don’t want to go. You’re sadly in love with someone else.
Side bar: If he doesn’t want you, you should go on a date instead of moping around! Don’t be a Kelly.
26. There are not enough hours in the day for dating and the gym.
Instead of going on a date, you could be getting a really good workout in.
27. Or, you know, playing with your cat.
That actually does look like more fun than a date.
28. Sometimes dates last way too long and you were ready to go home hours ago.
29. He also probably won’t care what you have to say.
Trying to decipher whether he actually cares or is pretending to care takes skill.
30. What if he knows something embarrassing about you?
Yup. They know someone who was there when you took your shirt off at that high school party back in 2002.
31. Most guys think they’re too good for you anyway.
He’ll never be satisfied with you, or anyone else for that matter, because he’s too good for everyone.
32. He might turn out to be a conceited prick.
And you really will hate him.
33. Besides, he’ll just be onto the next right away anyways!
34. And he’ll never call you back.
35. Or, he’ll call way too much.
36. You don’t trust yourself not to fall for his lame lines.
37. It’s unlikely he’ll be able to break your walls.
Fair enough. But date enough guys, and you’re bound to deem someone worthy of being let in.
38. The conversations are always the same.
39. You’re sick of getting home all sad because you know he wasn’t into you.
40. Because we know that one of us will likely judge the other without so much as a second date.
People have really unrealistic expectations that are hard to live up to. One of us has to decide we won’t write the other off too easily. That’s a good goal to have, after you master the art of going on more dates.
This is an original post by The Babe Report. Like us on Facebook for exclusive dating advice, hilarious true stories, and a chance to win great prizes!
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