Some of us care way too much about what other people think of us. It’s common to want to know that we’re well-liked, that others find us attractive, that we fit in, that our bosses think we’re intelligent, that our co-workers enjoy working with us and that the men in our lives are smitten with us. We could all learn to care a little bit less about the opinion of others. That’s why the woman who doesn’t require validation from anyone is so intriguing and sexy. Here are 8 reasons why not needing validation is one of the sexiest qualities you can possess:

1. You’re passionate, confident and secure. You draw others in with your confidence because you always seem so sure of yourself. That self-confidence and security doesn’t stem from the approval of others, it comes from within. It comes from having something in your life that you’re passionate about, and knowing who you are. That’s what makes your particular confidence so unique and special. You’re always optimistic even when things aren’t quite going your way, and somehow you get others to see things your way simply due to how determined and certain you are.

2. You march to the beat of your own drum. You do things your way, and people either love that quality in you, or they hate it. Either way, you don’t care and you’ll continue to march to the beat of your own drum. You’re a realist when the situation calls for it, but you also dream big – bigger than most people – and that’s what’s so great about you. You’re well aware that if you don’t dream big, you’ll be stuck in a mediocre life.

3. It seems as if nothing gets you down. To others, you’re the girl who can’t get knocked down. Even if that’s just a perception, it shows that you’re resilient and that you always land on your feet. There will always be people who judge you, misunderstand you or hate you – but those people aren’t able to tear you down because you’re smart enough to realize that they’re just short-sighted, jealous or miserable with themselves. At the end of the day, the opinion of others won’t ruin your mood or break you, and that’s ultimately what will keep you succeeding  in life.

4. You’re extremely selective. Part of your allure is that you only let select people into your life. You don’t have a whole slew of girlfriends to keep up appearances – you only have a select few genuine friendships. You don’t have a boyfriend for the sake of having one, or out of fear that you’ll be judged if you’re single for too long – you’d rather wait until you find someone who you think is worth your time.


5. You’re one of a kind. You don’t need to fit in, and you don’t feel the urge to please others all the time. Why? Because you don’t need validation from others that you’re doing the right thing or saying the right thing – you just want to be yourself. You have no problem saying no to people and you don’t feel guilty standing up for yourself. That’s exactly why your’e so awesome.

6. You control your own destiny. Or at least that’s your mindset. You believe that you have the power to achieve anything you want to achieve in this life, and nobody can say anything to change your mind or deter you. If somebody tells you that you can’t do something, it only drives you to push to succeed even more. Not requiring validation from others helps you dictate your own destiny and achieve your goals.

7. You stand up for what you believe in. If someone has a problem with the way you do things – be it a coworker, a friend, your boss or your man – you won’t change if you believe it’s right, smart or effective. You’ll never apologize for who you are just because you don’t always do things their way. It’s likely you’ve met many people who appreciate the way you are, and you know that there will always be a new job, a new boss and a new man who will love all the things about you that someone else was too short-sighted to see. Having faith in this concept is what allows you to always stand up for yourself even if it gets you in a little bit of trouble.

8. You’re not fake. You aren’t going to beat around the bush, sugar coat things or tell people what they want to hear so that they like you. You’ll never smile when you’re feeling low just to avoid looking awkward. You’ll always laugh when something is really funny. Everything about you is just real – some people can’t deal with that, but some people find that extremely attractive because they crave being around someone who is genuine.

Featured image via WeHeartIt

– See more at: http://www.thebolde.com/why-not-needing-validation-is-the-sexiest-quality-you-can-possess/#sthash.ax7gtPil.dpuf


About The Author

Erica Majored in Psychology at UBC and has since followed her passion for writing and journalism. After working at one of the world's largest dating sites for a few years, she began contributing dating advice to publications such as Elite Daily, AskMen and Vancity Buzz. It wasn't long before she decided to start her own dating advice column, The Babe Report. The rest is history. Follow her on Instagram @ericaleighgordon or on Facebook at facebook.com/thebabereport

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