Women have options. If you have just started dating a woman, chances are you are wrong if you think her sole focus is you. She could be dating another man concurrently, or she could be talking to other men on dating apps like PlentyOfFish or Tinder.

This may seem discouraging, but the good news is it’s easier than you think to obtain her undivided attention. Here are six ways to keep her interested and have her choosing you over her other options:

1. Keep the momentum going

Perhaps the first date went exceptionally well, and both of you were feeling a lot of chemistry. If that is the case, it’s important to keep the momentum going by locking in a second date in close succession to the first.

If you wait too long to ask a woman out on a second date, the momentum can be lost and it can almost feel like you are having to start all over again.

If you are lucky, the chemistry can be regained, and if you are exceptionally lucky, you can pick back up right where you left off. However, you are making it much more difficult if you lose momentum.


The first, second, third and fourth date should all be in close succession to each other — one to two weeks apart at maximum. As soon as you wait longer than two weeks to lock in your next date, you’re risking a more aggressive man swooping in and stealing her away from you.

The same goes for texting; momentum can be lost if you go longer than a week without texting her to say hello.


2. Ensure progress is made

Women look for progress when they are dating someone. If it looks like no progress is being made, they consider that a red flag. What does progress look like? An example would be that after a couple months of dating, you bring her out with your friends. A few months after that, you might even introduce her to your family.

Everyone treads at his or her own pace, which is fair. But, if a woman has been dating you for months and you have yet to introduce her to any of your friends, you’re not making any progress.

Some women tend to only date one man at a time, but other women date more than one man at a time. Depending on your situation, if she is dating another man and he is integrating her into his life more (bringing her to work parties and friends birthdays), she may end up choosing him over you.


3. Love yourself

Women are attracted to confidence. If you are a man with passions, drive and ambition, you will have her intrigued. The fact that you love yourself is sexy; it is one of the sexiest qualities you can offer a partner.

Not only is it attractive if you love yourself, but it is also important that you love what you do for work and have interests and hobbies.


4. Take initiative

Many women have a natural tendency to be attracted to men who take the lead and take initiative. This doesn’t mean she will never text, call or ask you out first; she just most likely appreciates it when you take that initiative.

If she is kept waiting or left wondering, it does not make her want you more; it makes her want to walk away. Taking the lead when it comes to planning the next date or being proactive in your pursuit is a quality many women value in a man.


5. Be present when you’re with her

When you are with a woman, it’s important to be engaged in the conversation. Be present in that moment; maintain eye contact, smile and ask questions. Do not look around the room or look down at your watch or your phone.


6. Make her feel special

One of the key ways to get a woman to choose you over her other options is to make her feel special, as though she is more important to you than any other options you might have.

As previously mentioned, introducing her to your friends helps. Another way to make a woman feel special is taking her on any date that requires a bit of planning on your part.

If you put thought into a cute date, it makes a woman feel special; it makes her want to do the same thing for you.

Photo Courtesy: Sex And The City


About The Author

Erica Majored in Psychology at UBC and has since followed her passion for writing and journalism. After working at one of the world's largest dating sites for a few years, she began contributing dating advice to publications such as Elite Daily, AskMen and Vancity Buzz. It wasn't long before she decided to start her own dating advice column, The Babe Report. The rest is history. Follow her on Instagram @ericaleighgordon or on Facebook at facebook.com/thebabereport

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